Saturday, June 25, 2005

Privacy?

Yesterday myself and my wife watched the movie "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" in Bahrain .. as you might already know, there are no public cinema theaters in Saudi Arabia!!. The movie was nice .. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie started the movie and they made lots of gossip accordingly!! ..
I rate it in the B- range.. the movie talked about a couple who started facing problems in their marriage after 5 to 6 years of marriage!. Why?.. they used to live sort of separated life .. they don't know much about each other when they leave the house.. and once again.. Why?.. coz both are working as killers !!.. as the movie keeps going .. each one of them tries to kill the other!
It was fun!

However, this post is not really about the movie... it is about privacy?
This movie couple kept their jobs hidden from each other.. I was asking myself.. can that be done? and more important .. is it right?
How much shall I keep hidden from my wife?
In fact, I had a serious problem with my wife .. coz of a privacy problem !
She checked my mobile messages.. and that lead to some miss understanding.. etc.. etc !
So once again .. what are the limits?

Personally, I believe I shall have my own space .. and have some stuff that I might not tell her.. or tell even anyone .. as long as they are not directly related to her or could cause her any sort of harm !
I believe it is difficult.. but it is important.. unless a couple really have a real trusting relationship .. what would they really have or share?
It is also difficult because we are not used here a lot to the concept of individualism .. we live as a group.. family .. friends.. tribe.. etc ! and it is rare that your own personal things are respected.. you could be accessible by anyone .. and for sure by those close to you!
What makes this issue worse is that in my personal experience, it is rare that you find someone who confronts your mistakes so you either fix them or tell him “Go to Hell!!”

4 Comments:

At 7:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think couples should never confess to the other about cheating on their partner. I think they should deal with it as individuals.

SK

 
At 3:48 PM, Blogger Abu-Joori said...

I wasn't only talking about cheating!. It is just that sometimes u don't think it is appropriate to tell ur partner some details coz telling them won't change anything!. Just imagine being in a big debt and yet u are able to manage the family finances .. do u have to tell her that things are really bad.. or just hint out that we got to be careful with money!

 
At 11:51 AM, Anonymous AGA said...

I found this post really interesting, especially the question, "How much shall I keep hidden from my wife?" Having been married now for a little over 20 years, I have discovered (rather late) that having nothing hidden is the best practice for us. Knowing that she knows everything, my successes and my failures, and still loves me is the most wonderful thing. As I look at it, if we cover our mistakes (even from ourselves), we will never learn or experience the need for forgiveness. If we never learn forgiveness, we will never really know what it means to love, nor can we truly understand that we are loved despite all of our mistakes.

 
At 2:27 PM, Blogger Abu-Joori said...

aga ..

till the moment I am having ur 20 years marriage experiance .. i guess I will keep hiding some stuff from my wife :P
just kidding !
actually i guess as we know each other more .. since we are married for a little over a year .. we will be able to share more things .. with less worries !

 

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